Today, I saw my counselor and I had parent/teacher conferences. So today, I’m thinking about the importance and benefit of an outsider’s perspective. I’m thinking about how community can provide that. I’m thinking about how, when I ask my husband’s opinion on something, I’m almost always left wondering why I don’t ask more often. He’s a pretty wise person, and he’s always always always reminding me of the gospel and of grace. He’s not the only person- I have so many wise friends in my life and somehow I am always surprised when they give me good counsel.
By all appearances, I’m a pretty put-together and capable person. It’s hard for the put-together and capable person to admit when she needs help, or when she’s weak, or ill-equipped, or confused.
I’m amazed at the amount of grace that other people have for me, and the lack of grace I show myself. When I feel the most crushed by the expectations of others, I am usually denying that the only person who has unreasonable and unrealistic expectations (perfection) for me is me.
So today, I don’t have all of my questions answered and I don’t have clarity. If anything, I have more questions. But I also have more information- not only about myself (from my counselor) and my boys (from their teachers) but also about this world in which I’m living and what my purpose is and how I can navigate it and understand it and be grateful for it.