Thirty-seven

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“When was the last time you cried?”

This simple question plays an epic role in the story that ultimately led to my husband becoming my husband. It was Valentine’s Day, 2003. My (now) husband and his two roommates had taken my two roommates and I out to a lovely dinner. We were all just friends at the time, spending “the most romantic day of the year” together. When the cold weather wrecked their after dinner plans for us, we found ourselves back at The Birds Nest (the girls house) drinking daiquiris and asking each other questions. I asked everyone when they had last cried, and no one really had a note-worthy answer, except for Charles (my husband). The last time he had cried was during “The Keely Fiasco,” the loving name our friends attributed to the conversation wherein Charles told me he would like to get to know me better and I replied, “I don’t want to date you. I like someone else.”

For the “emotional hard-ass” I am, I cry a lot these days.

I cried when I saw “Unbroken” a few weeks ago, while watching Louis Zamperini’s family listen in as he competed at the Olympics.

I cried Sunday night when Katy Perry performed “Firework” during half-time at the Super Bowl.

I cried a few weeks ago as I once again watched one of my very favorite movie scenes ever– the very last scene of “Julie and Julia”, when Julia Child opens up her very own copy of her cookbook and lets out just the greatest exclamation ever.

I cry at almost every school function that I attend with my boys.

I cry every time I drop my sons off at school, feeling like I am crushing my Kindergartner’s soul and scarring him forever.

And I cried today as I drove home, listening to Third Day sing to me the very best “Love Song” ever.

And the crying has been so, so good. The more I cry, the more I cry (if you know what I mean). The more I allow myself to feel and to respond, instead of trying to hold it in and be strong, the more frequently I find myself overcome with emotion and overflowing with tears. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say I feel more alive when I cry at the drop of a hat. It means something. It means I’m not numb. It means something is happening that matters. It means I need to pay attention.

When was the last time you cried?

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3 thoughts on “Thirty-seven

  1. Post-partum hormones have had me crying more times than I can remember lately. Sometimes over nothing, sometimes over something. But it usually feels good to cry, no matter the reason.

    “It means I need to pay attention”. Love that. Truth.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The last time I cried was last week, the boyfriend and I went through a rough patch, I cried all night and into the next morning. After my tear-fest I was able to properly communicate with him and now we are thriving. I am not afraid of crying, I used to think crying was a tell-tell sign that I was week but I’m older now and realize crying can help me gain clarity on a situation. Letting out some emotion and getting in touch with my feelings keeps me grounded and all around bubbly. I loved this post. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

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