Ok, I’ll put you out of your misery.
The green door house isn’t ours…
I was confident that by this point, with school starting up this week, we would already be settled into our new place. I was confident that our house would sell quickly. I was confident in John’s original timeline of finishing the green door house by the end of July. I was confident that because God has placed the same strong desire in my heart and my husband’s that everything was working out as we imagined and hoped it would. And while it all still may, it hasn’t yet; and that’s been hard.
We have spent all summer pouring ourselves into our home. We painted every inch of trim, every window sill, every wall, every cabinet face. We scrubbed floors, cleaned carpets, took a magic eraser to every rouge streak and stain. We sold a large amount of furniture, anticipating a reduction in square footage. Our house was bright and shiny and looked better than it ever had in the seven years since we’ve owned it. The vast majority of our belongings were packed away and stored in the garage. We became guests in our own home and asked our children to start living as though it already belonged to someone else.
The house was listed.
And we waited.
We’ve had some showings, we’ve dropped the price, we’ve unpacked a few necessary boxes. But we are still waiting. And though we hadn’t acknowledged it out loud until just yesterday, my husband and I were both starting to rethink it all. Maybe this wasn’t God’s plan. Maybe this isn’t God’s timing. Maybe we rushed into something hastily.
But yesterday we sat in church and heard the gospel and felt convicted to seek out opportunities to mingle with those different from us. We both left feeling like we’d heard a rejuvenating pep-talk, and a gentle reminder of the real reasons we want to move. It’s not the fanciness of the neighborhood, the newness of the house, or even the park and entertainment nearby. It’s a new lifestyle. It’s a call to serve and reach people who don’t look like us, didn’t grow up where we did, don’t eat the same food or wear the same clothes. It’s the chance to be stretched and pushed. It’s the chance for our kids (and us as well) to see that the world is a lot bigger than our four walls. It’s the chance to be even more involved in the work and mission of our church: to love God, love people, and love Oklahoma City.
As we spent a few precious hours alone together yesterday, my husband and I admitted that we’ve stopped praying diligently for the green door house. We’ve let worry, doubt, fear, stress, anger, sadness, and impatience reign in our hearts.
Yesterday God sent Team Steger a loud and clear message, and today we face the same unknown future with a bit more confidence that God knows what’s ahead for us.