Eighty-two

DSC_0006“Being dependable and reliable are good things, and those are a part of who you are, but they’re not all you are.”

This truth from my counselor is starting to make more sense, as I’ve sought out opportunities lately to be Keely and not just Mom. My role as mom is huge, and life-changing, and good. As mom I am needed and depended upon and expected to be reliable, and that’s good for me. My issue is that I equate my identity with those things. 

A few weeks ago I attended a baby shower dinner with some girlfriends. I laughed a lot, I ate cheesy garlic bread and attempted to drink everyone’s pink dipping sauce. I talked about Parenthood and Friday Night Lights and home days.
I got to be Keely, and it was good.

My husband and I are “shopping” for a new small group. We attended one last week and, while our children were there with us, I had the opportunity to introduce myself, engage in discussion about that week’s Psalm, and share something I had learned that week.
I got to be Keely, and it was good.

Over the weekend, my husband and I spent 4 glorious hours alone together in OKC. We ate dinner by the canal, enjoyed a free dessert, sat on the front steps of the green door house and prayed for it to be ours. We drove with the top down and laughed and talked and held hands.
I got to be Keely, and it was good.

On Monday night, I attended a new-to-me Bible study. I only knew two of the ladies there. I shared what I had learned from the first two chapters of Tim Keller’s book on prayer. I shared a bit of what’s going on with my family and prayed for the stress and worry of selling our home. I made a ridiculous comment and told everyone they should feel free to tweet me.
I got to be Keely, and it was good.

Being Mom will always be a part of me. Even after my three kids are grown and gone, that role will continue. I’ll always answer to that name. I’ll always be reliable and dependable to my kids. But the danger is real that I can completely lose myself in that role and forget that God created me as a whole multi-faceted person.

I’m giving myself permission to remember those other parts of myself and to explore new areas that bring me joy and make me come alive. It’s helping me to take the pressure off of finding “that one thing” that I’m passionate about. It’s helping me to actually enjoy the things I enjoy, guilt-free.

Little things like:
Watching an episode of Parenthood while I eat lunch
Reading a chapter of my current book
Journaling a bible verse or lyrics to a hymn
Sitting on the back porch with nothing in my hands, and just listening

I’m discovering the beauty in enjoying what I enjoy, and not pressuring myself to enjoy what someone else enjoys.
I’m enjoying the freedom to be Keely.
Enjoy the freedom to be you.

Advertisements

One thought on “Eighty-two

  1. You are reading my mind! Thanks for this…it is just what I needed. I have lost Verla in all of my duties, responsibilities and worries. This makes me realize that Verla is who God designed me to be. I don’t have to deny her just because I have other roles. Thank you! Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s